Today was another good day <3 i got to talk to my husband for an hour through emails:)
it sucked because the connection was slow and lagged, but i would take anything, there are moments,
im not gonna lie where we still bicker, stupid i know
but i am here to ensure you, it is NORMAL!
its raining here, feels like a monsooon, unlike any rain i have ever seen in my life, i want to just go out and play,
but i know i can not do this for my son will try to follow! The thunder and lightning is therapeutic on my mind. Its the perfect weather for how i am feeling..
i think its funny how even on a beautiful warm day, and single cloud can bring rain.
that is exactly what happened TODAY!!
i dont quite understand what brought this on, but i was missing bryans butt
haha its funny for me to type that, but whenever i hugged my husband, because i am a shotty,
my hands always reach his backside :) and i just love squeezn his butt :D
this made me burst into tears! its only been 14 days since i last saw my husband, i was both happy and sad
because yay!!!!!!! time has semi flown by, but its also going so damn flow!6.5 to go hopefully....
i dont know why but these lyrics keep going over and over in my head
"let the rain fall down and wake my dreams let it wash away my sanity kus i want to feel the thunder i want to scream" i feel like tht sometimes and thts where the insomnia comes in!! id rather be awake and get a brief chance to talk to my husband in the real world, than dream a dream i wont rememeber, that i cant control, and thts not true, of coarse i like dreamimng of my husband and feeling him in my dreams, but i dont like false hope that he is gonna be back soon. woman do crazy things in their deployments, i know for a fact i have an alarm set in 3 diff times in the night to check my email because thts when i usually get one, and idc if im tired, if i get a 5 min email conversation, ill take it!! |
| my anti-cry mechanism <3 |
so the weird rituals u have, whether it be kissn a picture and playn his voicemail over and over, or watchn movies of you guys together, things are normal that seem odd when your in love and lonely. horny nights are horrible, happy nights are horrible, sad nights are the best, because when you finally accept that your sad and cry your hearts desire out, you sleep in peace, and you come out of denial even if its for a couple hours, hopefully a couple of days... take advantage of everything you can to just smile, smile and laughter are the cure to time.. find that one thing you love that puts a smile on your face and holdon to it, i have mine already <3
